(To be sung to the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree”, or “Oh Tennenbaum”.)

The other day, as I mentioned before, I found myself wandering through Robert’s Crafts with a huge goofy grin on my face. Having completely forgotten why I went in there in the first place, I was smitten by their 50% off sale. Sure I could have held out for their almost-certain 75% off sale after Christmas, but I suddenly wanted a Christmas this year! I called Stan giggling and said “Want to decorate a Christmas tree tonight? Giggle giggle giggle!” (I don’t know what was so funny either.)

I’ve never owned a Christmas tree. My family was the type to drive up into the mountains with the ol’ 4WD and chop one down ourselves (complete with peeing in the snowy woods because as a child, of course you have to pee right when you summit a mountain with 4 feet of snow), and I plan on carrying on that tradition with my own kids someday. But for now, I’m a 25 year-old city girl and let’s face it- I’m not going to stuff a Christmas tree in the back of my ’95 Saturn SC2.

Unless it’s 4.5 feet tall.

And skinny.

And fake.

And 50% off at Robert’s.

Is that not the most pathetic thing you’ve ever seen?

Except for maybe this?

No matter. I wanted the tree to bring joy year-round, by not being a behemoth of a thing to store. And Stan and I had a great time decorating our first tree together (cheesefest- mmm, I like cheese). It turned out quite cute, I think.

And yes, I strategically cropped a few things out of the pic. Don’t worry, you’ll find out why soon enough.